Just How Helpful Are Your Friends – Really?
posted in Personal Success, Relationships |The true personality of a person does not surface when everything is great – it surfaces when the chips are down. For some, the drama doesn’t need to be happening to them – they are happy to dwell in the pity pit with anyone who will invite them in. Some people just love a drama.
I realized this recently when I had a bit of a set back and happened to share it in passing with a long time friend. I was happy to acknowledge the event as a passing life experience and move forward on to chatting about more positive things that had happened since we last talked. But they wanted to know more – making sympathetic agonizing comments and asking question that would have me going deeper into the negative feelings I must be experiencing, how terrible it must be. I suddenly realised they were getting a buzz out of this – they loved the drama, fed on it, almost desperately needed it. These are the people that love helping you at the bottom of the cliff.
Then there are those who see you at the bottom and give you a helping hand to the top. The people that some may judge unfairly as being unsympathetic. Who, instead of helping you linger in your loss or desperation, help you start taking action to turn things around – who encourage you with positive, reinforcing words. The matter of fact approach – shit happens, but lets focus on getting you out of the pit.
The ones that want to help you at the bottom, are the ones you want to get OUT of your life. The ones that want to help you get back to the top are your guiding stars, the heros of you life. You want to love them, keep them, cherish them and thank them. They are the ones who truly care about you.