Life Success Habits

The true personality of a person does not surface when everything is great – it surfaces when the chips are down. For some, the drama doesn’t need to be happening to them – they are happy to dwell in the pity pit with anyone who will invite them in. Some people just love a drama.

I realized this recently when I had a bit of a set back and happened to share it in passing with a long time friend. I was happy to acknowledge the event as a passing life experience and move forward on to chatting about more positive things that had happened since we last talked. But they wanted to know more – making sympathetic agonizing comments and asking question that would have me going deeper into the negative feelings I must be experiencing, how terrible it must be. I suddenly realised they were getting a buzz out of this – they loved the drama, fed on it, almost  desperately needed it. These are the people that love helping you at the bottom of the cliff.

Then there are those who see you at the bottom and give you a helping hand to the top. The people that some may judge unfairly as being unsympathetic. Who, instead of helping you linger in your loss or desperation, help you start taking action to turn things around – who encourage you with positive, reinforcing words. The matter of fact approach – shit happens, but lets focus on getting you out of the pit.

The ones that want to help you at the bottom, are the ones you want to get OUT of your life. The ones that want to help you get back to the top are your guiding stars, the heros of you life. You want to love them, keep them, cherish them and thank them. They are the ones who truly care about you.

It seems women not having success in finding the right man may be looking in all the wrong places. In a book by Steve Santagati, he cites research showed that the top five cities with the best prospects of finding eligible life partners are:

1. San Jose
2. Salt Lake City, Utah
3. Arlington, Texas
4. Rawleigh, NC
5. San Francisco, CA.

And forget clubs and gyms. Instead try the local Farmers Market.

Women need to be more assertive in finding their mates. They should treat every daily event as a potential opportunity and resist the temptation to run down to the local store to buy a paper dressed in sloppy clothes and no make-up. That doesn’t mean a full beauty make-over and courtier fashion either. But replace those sloppy joes for a nice pair of jeans, a cute teeshirt and a bit of lip gloss. It makes a big difference between being noticed or not. And don’t wait for him to make the first move. Be proactive, make a passing comment in a teasing style, or make momentary eye contact. He will love you for it. “It’s not game playing, its street smarts” says Steve, in an interview with Oprah. If he is interested he will make the next move, if not, you have nothing to lose.

And you will know when you have found the right one, you will have an overwhelming sense of being drawn into something bigger than yourself and want to stay there. Even women that claim they don’t have time for a man, find the time when the man is the right one!